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Plant Nursery

Relationship Round

  • Writer's pictureEmma Forsyth, LPC, LMFT, RPT
    • Sep 12, 2020
    • 3 min read

Explicit Media and Virtual Learning: Talking to Your Kids About It

Children are returning to elementary school this fall, many of them virtually, which means logging into class from home on a device. While schools and districts work diligently to secure school meetings and protect students, some classes have already been hacked and exposed to explicit images and videos of violence and pornography. These actions result in trauma for many of the children impacted.


Although the chance of exposure to developmentally inappropriate material remains low, It's important to talk to your elementary-age kids about what to do if they encounter violent or pornographic material in a virtual school meeting.




This can be a hard conversation to have, so I have provided a sample below of the conversations I have with my own children, my clients, and their parents. I've also included a brief primer on broaching the subject of pornography with elementary-aged students. As the age of exposure to pornography becomes younger, conversations about how to recognize it and what to do are needed.


I hope you find this information helpful as you have these important conversations with your children.


As always, how you approach these sensitive conversations with your child will depend on your own family values and the maturity of your child.


 

SAMPLE CONVERSATION


"Some people are sharing things in school Zoom meetings that aren’t good for kids. This probably won’t happen in your class, but if it does, I want you to know what to do.


If in one of your meetings you see someone being hurt, or naked people, or something that makes you feel bad or uncomfortable, close your device immediately and come get me. Don’t wait and try to figure out what it is or what is happening, just close it and come get me (or other caregivers in home/building). You won’t get in trouble; it’s not your fault if someone shares something inappropriate.”


*It’s also important to keep in mind that even though you have this conversation and prepare your kids for the possibility of exposure to violence or pornography, they may not be able to follow these instructions in the moment. If there is exposure, be calm and understanding, and discuss what happened with your child. Contact a mental health professional if your child is experiencing distress as a result of the exposure.


 

TALKING TO CHILDREN ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY


Definition:

A picture, video, or cartoons of people with no clothes on, showing parts of the body we usually keep private. (If your child has some understanding of sex, you can add “doing things some grown ups do when they have sex.”)


Depending on your child's developmental stage, you can also differentiate between scientific and artistic representations of nudity and pornography.


Talking points to share with your children:


  • You can always come to me [parent/caregiver] if you see something you think is pornography or if you have questions about it. You won’t get in trouble.

  • It’s normal to be curious about these types of pictures and videos, but it’s not good for kids to see them. It can give kids mixed up ideas about how people treat each other, and bring up feelings that kids’ brains and bodies aren’t able to understand yet.

  • [For older kids or kids who have been exposed] Pornography, like TV and movies, isn't real. In the real world, people don't relate this way.


 

SOURCES/RESOURCES


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